Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize