I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
