Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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