Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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