I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
