i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
