if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my shit smells like andre
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
