I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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