how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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