I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
