dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
