Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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