i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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