I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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