Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
