"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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