imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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