She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
