And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
