Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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