i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize