She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
