the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
