the day after is always just damage control
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
