NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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