Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
