Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
