And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
pray to the hookup gods
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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