A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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