Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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