you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize