There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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