508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
