Betty ford says i'm here all night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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