Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
