he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
