I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We need to get me chipped asap
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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