He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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