No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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