i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
