I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
