Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You pole danced in your parka.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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