I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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