Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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