Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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