I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
