so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
