So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
