May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
