Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
