Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
