so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
