I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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