OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
