i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
