Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
