i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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