well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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